--Kate Moss - 38 (skanky supermodel. She has a tiny heart TATTOOED on her hand + She SMOKES + She DRINKS = She's EASY..like real easy!!!)
--Josie Davis - 39 (The "fugly" girl from "CHARLES IN CHARGE"!!! Scott Baio probably nailed her anyway.)
--Danni Ashe - 44 (Officially certified by "The Guinness Book of World Records" as the "Most-Downloaded Woman on the Internet" in 2000 . . . )
SADE - 53 (Nigerian singing goddess. Real name: Helen Folasade Adu. t Time"; and 1992's
--Debbie Allen - 62 (Actress-dancer-choreographer. Phylicia Rashad's sister. Star of "Fame", "Roots: The Next Generations", AND three very special episodes of "A Different World" . . . which co-starred wisecracking Nubian KADEEM HARDISON!!!)
-John Carpenter - 64 (Director of "Halloween", the '80s remake of "The Thing", "Big Trouble in Little China", the original version of "The Fog", the original version of "Assault on Precinct 13", "Escape from New York", "Escape from L.A." . . .)
Dr. Laura Schlessinger - 65 (Satan's personal representative here on Earth.)
--Ronnie Milsap - 66 (Country singer who sees as well as Stevie Wonder, Ray Charles AND Jose Feliciano!!!)
--René Angelil 10 (Celine Dion's chubby old naughty husband.)
--A.J. Foyt - 75 (Auto racing king.)
--ETHEL MERMAN!!! - (1908 - 1984) -woulda been 104! I hope you like the Lyrics, cuz you're sure gonna hear em!
--Dizzy Dean - (1910 - 1974) - (Baseball Hall of Famer who once said, "It ain't braggin' if you can do it." Kid Rock says, "It ain't braggin' if ya back it up.")
--Aaliyah - Would have been 32 - (1979 - 2001) (She only had three albums in her short life and all three of them went Double Platinum. Her 1994 debut album, "Age Ain't Nothing But A Number", featured "At Your Best (You Are Love)", "Back & Forth" and the title track.)
1920 - PROHIBITION began. Americans weren't allowed to booze freely for 13 YEARS . . . when the 18th Amendment was finally repealed. You know you're an alcoholic when you pass an Amendment to an Amendment just to get a drink, no??? I'm just sayin'.)
1942 Actress Carole Lombard, 33, died in a plane crash near Las Vegas
1953 - The CHEVY CORVETTE was introduced at a car show at New York's Waldorf-Astoria Hotel.
1964 The musical "Hello, Dolly!" starring Carol Channing opened on Broadway, beginning a run of 2,844 performances
1972 - DAVID SEVILLE, most famous for his songs as ALVIN & THE CHIPMUNKS, died at age 52. David Seville also wrote the 1958 novelty song smash hit, "WITCH DOCTOR"!!!
1972 - The DALLAS COWBOYS beat the MIAMI DOLPHINS, 24-to-3, to win SUPER BOWL SIX. Dallas quarterback ROGER STAUBACH completed 12 of 19 passes for 119 yards and two touchdowns . . . and was voted the game's MVP. (--Tickets cost just $15.)
1973 - NBC presented the 440th and final showing of "BONANZA"!!! (--It lasted 14 seasons, was on the air since 1959 and starred the mighty LORNE GREENE!!!)
1974 - "JAWS", by Peter Benchley, was first published.
1978 - NASA named the 35 candidates to fly in the space shuttle . . . and they included SALLY RIDE, the first woman in space, and GUION BLUFORD, JR., the first brother in space!!!
1980 - PAUL MCCARTNEY was jailed in Tokyo for 10 days . . . for possessing MARIJUANA!!! REEFER!!! WEED!!! GANJA!!! GRASS!!!
1981 - Fugly boxer LEON SPINKS was mugged and had his mouth violated . . . because the muggers even took his gold teeth!!!
1984 - PAUL AND LINDA MCCARTNEY were arrested in Barbados . . . this time for possessing CANNABIS!!! (???)
1985 - "PLAYBOY" ANNOUNCED THE END OF STAPLING CENTERFOLDS!!!
1986 - Five years after his retirement, surveys showed that super-sexy WALTER CRONKITE was STILL the most trusted man in America. (--Now it's Ryan Seacrest. Oh, world, what have you become?)
1988 - The GEORGE HARRISON smash "GOT MY MIND SET ON YOU" hit #1.
1991 - The White House announced the start of OPERATION DESERT STORM to drive Saddam Hussein and his evil Iraqi minions out of Kuwait. (--Because of the time difference, it was early January 17th in the Persian Gulf when the attack began.)
1997 - BILL COSBY'S son, ENNIS COSBY, was murdered on an L.A. highway. He was only 27. Bill hasn't been the same since.
2004 Pop star Michael Jackson pleaded innocent to child molestation charges in Santa Maria, Calif. (Charges were later re-filed and Jackson was acquitted.)
2007 Sen. Barack Obama, D-Ill., launched his successful bid for the White House.