"You'll never be younger they said"...and the rest is history as Lil Johnny learned to play the Skin flute for the fathers in the rectory..
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A Colorado man did his best to prove he was a crack shot – by trying to gun down the cops who'd just handcuffed him...with a pistol he'd hidden between his butt cheeks!
Isaac Vigil, who was in custody on drug charges, had been collared and cuffed while smoking meth in a McDonald's parking lot. It took several officers to subdue the "highly agitated" 32-year-old, who kept threatening to shoot them and kill himself. While the deputies say they searched Vigil three times, finding two bags of meth in his rear end, he still managed to pull an escape plan – and a .25 caliber weapon out of his butt.
Vigil managed to get off two shots, neither of which connected, before he was shot once by police. He was not badly hurt, and was charged with numerous felonies, including assault, menacing and drug and weapon possession. (WUSA
Porn is everywhere in our society, right? So you'd think that even the average person would know some stuff about it -- regardless of whether you watch. But we'll bet you didn't know that the state with the most porn viewing per capita is Utah. Or that the punishment for viewing porn in North Korea is death.
25. In 2001, there were around 70,000 adult websites. Today, just 12 years later, they are more than 4.2 million pornographic websites in the US alone. It does not take a math major to figure out that increase is tremendous. Either people are lying about porn or people are lying about porn.
24. Male porn performers do not bring home all that much bacon. They can make more money performing in gay porn than straight porn, as much as three times as much per film. The term you are looking for is gay for pay.
23. At any second of the day, worldwide, almost as much as 30,000,000 unique visitors are viewing porn. So when you are sitting around the house during the day and think you are the only person creepy enough to be porn surfing, think again. In fact, for a 30 second porn clip, almost a million people have joined in on the action.
22. What feature on the female body do you think men focus on during a porn viewing? It isn’t the ass, breasts, or legs. It is the face. Of all the body parts to stare at during the moment, men would rather chose to look at the women’s face. That is a bit ironic, don’t you think?
21. The majority of porn websites, free and paid, feature videos and clips they purchased from other developers. A small percentage of porn sites actually include original content.
20. If you have A-Cup breasts or smaller, don’t worry about getting seen in Australia. They have a ban on pornography featuring women with tiny breasts. There is def a good Australian porn joke in here somewhere.
19. The most searched porn related word in America is MILF. The second most searched is Teen. Unfortunately for all the betters at home, anal comes in at tenth.
18. For every man that thinks he can start a career in porn, nice try. Unless you have connections or a smoking hot woman willing to join you, guy’s chances of becoming a porn star are slim to none. There is one other way but you need to ask Ron Jeremy about that.
17. Even if it is illegal to broadcast pornography in some countries, if you stay at a hotel, they are exempt to satisfy all international visitors. Besides, close to 70% of room service revenue comes from ordering porn. So don’t be bashful, everyone is doing it.
16. The largest porn network in the world sets up shop in Canada. Really? Those crazy Canucks had to be good at something else besides hockey and it looks like we just found it.
15. Almost 60% of Mississippi is white but the number one most searched porn term is ebony followed by gay black. Did we just end racism in Mississippi?
14. Which state in the United States has the largest consumption of porn per capita? Utah. That’s right folks, that was not a typo. Utah has the largest consumption of porn per capita in the US. Bet you didn’t see that one coming.
13. It is tough to research how porn affects a man’s love life because almost every single man watches porn. Someone from the University of Montreal tried conducting a study but when he tried to put together a control group of men in there 20’s that haven’t consumed porn, he couldn’t find a single one.
12. North Korea pretty much sucks at life anyways but if you are caught viewing porn the punishment is death.
11. People in South Korea have to use their version of a Social Security number to access any porn material online. #BigBrotherProblems
10. If life was a porno, nothing would ever get accomplished. It would just be a world full of people having sex. Everywhere.
9. Jenna Jameson hasn’t starred in or been featured in a porn movie since 2007 yet she remains the highest earning porn star grossing $30 million in 2012. The second highest grossing porn star is Tera Patrick at only $15 million. Needless to say, it isn’t even close.
8. Thanksgiving is the least popular day of the year to view porn. The most popular day for porn viewing? Sundays.
7. Jackie Chan didn’t get his start in porn but it did help. Back in 1975, he was struggling to break into the movie business so he did a couple adult films that featured little fighting and lots of crotch shots.
6. Rule 34. If you ever wondered about what it stood for, wonder no more. It basically states that if anything exists, there is porn for it. For example, if you love to see women dressed as Mario having sex with guys dressed as Elmo, according to Rule 34, there is a porn out there for it.
5. Porn does and doesn’t lead to sex crimes. That is a fact. Wait… There are about 4,000 studies proving one side or the other and not one of them is conclusive. So, until otherwise noted, porn doesn’t lead to sex crimes. Or maybe it does. We might not ever know.
4. If you thought having a family member starring in porn was awkward, try having both of your parents starring in it. Movie star Thora Birch knows the feeling as both her parents started off as porn stars and even had roles in the porn classic Deep Throat.
3. Just about half of the Internet is made up of porn or porn related content. Think about that commies before you go all Red Dawn on boycotting pornography on the Internet.
2. Porn controls digital media. A great example was VHS. Before everyone was on board with VHS, Betamax was fighting tooth and nail for control. Porn chose to use VHS tapes as its’ main source of distribution and the rest is history. Same can be said for Blu-Ray and HD-DVD. Porn chose the former and now you can buy HD-DVD’s for a dollar.
1. Women watch porn. If a woman tells you she doesn’t, she is lying. More people are watching porn than Hulu, Twitter, and Facebook combined. It isn’t just the bro’s out there doing the porn watching, women are too.
TIRING OF HIS WEIRD BEHAVIOR, THE REST OF THE LOCAL BEAVER COMMUNITY FINALLY GNAWED THE GUITAR TO SPLINTERS.
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