VIEWS FROM A BROAD

Woman Arrested in FLORIDA After Stopping Traffic by Exposing and Pleasuring Herself and Attacking Deputies

Ya think drivers were stopping to stare at her face?

Deputies responded to a report of a woman wearing only a pink shirt and exposing her private parts while masturbating in public under an I-75 overpass in Ocala, according to an arrest affidavit from the Marion County Sheriff's Office.

The woman, later identified as Ashley Lynn Holton, then pulled up the pink shirt and her
bra to expose breasts and vagina to the deputy and motorists passing by in cars, according to the arrest record.

The 35-year-old Troy, Alabama woman resisted attempts to place handcuffs on her wrists by twisting and turning both her arms and body. Once handcuffed and placed in a patrol car, she then reportedly began kicking the patrol car windows, the report stated.

When a deputy opened the patrol car door to tell her to calm down, Holton allegedly kicked the deputy's leg.

A witness told the deputy several cars honked at Holton's vulgar performance, which only seemed to encourage the defendant to continue. The witness estimated Holton had been exposing herself for 30-40-minutes before the deputy had arrived, according to the report.

As you can imagine, traffic was impacted.

FULL STORY HERE.

(Posted by Schmooze Correspondent Mary Wallace)

Some Hilarious Real Products .. YOUR GENITALS and HAND JOB..

I don't know what countries these came from, but something got REALLY screwed up in the translation to english-

ShitBeGone toilet paper. Nothing like just getting right to the point with a product name. Personally if it were up to me, I'd have called it Ass Wipe, but this also works… 

Maybe you touched your genitals hand sanitizer...

Hand Job ...Better Than Nothin   Truer words have NEVER been used before..

Wasted and Broke Ramen Noodles .....OMG If that isn't the truth

And this product must be by approved by Rabbi Moshe Mordechai Epstein & The Pope..

Handz-Off Anti Masturbatory Creme..

Mother of Naked Face-Chewing Attacker: My Son Was 'No Zombie'

I swear, I read this headline and I INSTANTLY knew it was in FLORIDA.. What is it?  Are these people spawned  from the boats of the crazy criminals  that Castro sent over in 1994? I bet he's still laughing his ass off about that one...

MIAMI -- The mother of Rudy Eugene, who was shot and killed by a police officer as he chewed the face off a homeless man in Miami, says her son was "a nice kid" who could have been subdued with a taser rather than gunfire.

"He was a good kid. He gave me a nice card on Mother’s Day. Everyone says he was a zombie. He was no zombie. That was my son,” the mother, who asked that her name not be revealed, told CNN affliate WFOR.

Eugene, 31, was killed by a police officer on Saturday after an 18-minute attack on a homeless man, identified by police as 65-year-old Ronald Poppo. Video of the incident shows Eugene coming across Poppo on a sidewalk along Miami's MacArthur Causeway, stripping clothes off him and eventually chewing on his face.

Police said Poppo lost 75% of his face in the attack. He was in critical condition at a Miami hospital.

Eugene's mother said police didn't need to shoot her son.

"They could have tased him," she told WFOR. "I saw what happened on TV and I started crying.”

Link

REDNECK Woman finds image of Jesus in mold in her shower.. (cuz we all know Jesus will show up in your filthy moldy ass shower..)

yeap..its  in Texas.. and ya gotta love the one guy saying he got out of prison and its a sign.  Meanwhile ..gurlfriend is in the shower/tub that hasn't seen a can of Tilex since 1992.. Cooing about  Jesus Lookin at her her naked.

REDNECKS..gotta love em

We've all seen the stories: a Virgin Mary sighting in a grilled cheese sandwich, in the side of a tree, or Jesus' face on a tortilla. We guess you've never seen one like this -- inside a filthy moldy shower.

"People say your house is blessed," said Chyanna Richards. "I see the head, the hair, a cloak."

The mold started a couple of months ago while Thomas George, who also lives in the house, was in prison.

"He's just watching over us to make sure nothing wrong happens or I get in trouble and go back," George said.

FULL STORY HERE

 

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West Already Moving In Together..

hahahahaha

Nothing screams wealth and class more than shacking up with your new Amoré while you are still married to your previous fake husband. 

Their new address shall be 6969 IMAWHORE lane..

If you actually give a sh*t here is the link